The Secret (and very messed up) Life of Golden Freddy
by GoldietheFazbear
Summary: He went from being a totally normal human to being a feared and legendary animatronic. Golden Freddy's life has never been more messed up than before. Can he handle new nightguards stalking him? Can he find out who was the one that cost him his life? And can he handle his friends-well, doing weird things? Will his life go horribly wrong? (Rated T for profanity and drugs/alcohol)
1. Well, this is how it all started

Introduction

March 24, 1986

I was heading to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza for my friend's party. When I arrived at the place, a creepy guy in a golden animatronic suit greeted us. I honestly don't recall much, but I noticed something strange, something unusual about the guy. Through his suit, I could see some of his exposed skin, and it wasn't normal. Not at all. The skin was purple! Then, the guy led us backstage. I protested, but one of my friends dragged me along with her. Once we were backstage, the purple guy grabbed one of my friends and started to shove her into a Chica suit. She screamed in pain and agony, and I could hear the dreadful sound of flesh ripping from bone. Soon, blood started leaking through the suit, and spilling all over the floor. I quickly dove behind a chair so that the guy wouldn't be able to stuff me. I heard more screams and ripping noises, and when they ended, all my friends had all turned into animatronics. I decided that I was safe, but I was wrong. A knife flew toward my neck, and I was dead before I knew it.

Nov. 13, 1987,

Ugh. Today is supposed to be another party for some kid. I hate kids! I mean, they throw cupcakes at you, they stuff pizza up your mouth, they call you insulting names, they pull on your ears, and they are just plain obnoxious! God damn it! Bonnie was practicing guitar backstage, Freddy was practicing the same song he sings every time kids have a party here, Foxy was swinging from a ceiling lamp, and I'm assuming that Chica was in the kitchen, stuffing her face with pizza. And I? Here I am, complaining about my stupid job. Today would be my 110th time attending a party. Just the thought of more kids made me want to shoot myself. Back in animatronic school, I was always teased and made fun of because I was smart. Animatronics back then were kind of supposed to be stupid. Fortunately, I found 4 other animatronics that were rather intelligent as well. Still, I don't know why Chica didn't stick with the dumb guys. To be honest, she isn't exactly the brightest.

Suddenly, I heard some kids shouting, and to my horror, saw 20-some kids burst into the pizzeria. "Hi k-kids..., and w-welcome to Freddy Fazbear's p-Pizzeria." I stammered. "Hey! Look at that yellow bear! It looks so dumb!" One of the kids shouted. I clenched my jaw together to prevent myself from biting her. Besides, I was GOLD, not YELLOW! The same kid kicked me, and now I had a dent in my leg! I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THAT ABOMINATION! So here I am, leading a mob of rowdy kids around the place. They screamed, they shouted, and they sang. Yep! Just as I expected! God damn it! I was going to have to stick with them for the rest of the day! I desperately tried to get them seated, but they would not obey. That lasted until I decided that I had the audacity to shove one of them against the wall. The rest of the kids stared at me in shock, and they all immediately scrambled into their seats. Once I managed to get all of them seated at the tables, I sneaked backstage. Then, I realized I wasn't alone.

One of the quieter kids had followed me backstage. "Um, I don't think you should come back here. Some of the other animatronics can be q-quite dangerous." I said to him. He looked up at me in surprise. "Are you Golden Freddy?" He asked. "Yes...Why?" I questioned. "I heard that you could teleport around." He said. "Well, I c-can, but don't tell anyone else, or I will stuff you into an animatronic suit!" The poor guy must have been terrified. "U-umm... O...k! I-I w-wont!" He ran off to join the rest of his gang. I decided that it was time to bring out some cupcakes, but right before I could act, I heard a chomp, followed by many shrill screams. I then heard people running around and a couple slams of a door. I knew something had gone wrong, so I teleported to the Show Area. I shouted "WHAT THE HE..." My words were cut off by a trembling Chica. She pointed to Pirate Cove. The same girl who had insulted me before now lay on the stage, dead. There were deep bite marks on her forehead, and blood was pooling around her body. "Oh, um, Foxy?" I called. "Why did you just kill someone?" No reply. I teleported backstage, where Foxy was, trembling with anger and fear.

He looked horrible. He had blood all over his jaws, and there was a piece of flesh stuck in between his teeth. " Dude, are you alright?" I asked. "Sh-She called me stupid and weird!" He finally blurted out. "Then... I just LOST IT!" I patted his back. "Fine with me. That girl insulted me when she came in." "But... Where do we go now? This place is probably going to shut down after the whole bite incident!" He spluttered. "We get revenge... On whoever made this happen. On whoever killed us and stuffed us into these dumb suits. ON THE NEXT NIGHT GUARD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed evilly. I knew that the person that murdered us was going to be one of the next night guards because I was psychic. Just then, Bonnie's voice sounded. "Nice plan. I would love to murder that guy" I turned around. Bonnie, Freddy, and Chica were all standing behind me. Freddy said "Well, his new job starts two days later, so why don't we just have some fun in the one free day we have off?" Chica nodded. "Let's have a pizza eating contest!' She added. We all started coming up with ideas for the fun day we were going to have tomorrow.

Nov. 14, 1987,

Foxy sprinted down to Backstage to wake me up. "Hey man, just a reminder, we're having strawberry cupcakes for breakfast." I liked anything strawberry-flavored, so this news woke me up. "Cupcakes?" Foxy nodded. "Yes, Bonnie and Chica are going to make them." Cool! I teleported to the kitchen, where Bonnie was cracking eggs, and Chica was making a mess of the frosting she was mixing. After a while, the warm scent of strawberry cupcakes wafted through the kitchen. Chica handed a piping bag full of strawberry icing to me. She had frosting all over her face. "Puh ithing on te cufcaks" She said over a mouthful of frosting. I gave her a skeptical glare, and I walked off to finish the frosting process. Bonnie handed me the tray of cakes, and I carefully frosted each and every of them in a swirling pattern. To top them off, I set a little strawberry on each. Suddenly, Foxy swung down from a ceiling lamp and stole two of my cupcakes. "Hey!" I shouted. He stuffed the cupcakes into his mouth. "Shry, em ust hngre!" He choked out. "Hey Foxy, don't talk with your mouth full." Freddy demanded. "Ok everyone, breakfast time!" Bonnie yelled over Freddy.

It was a great morning. We had a mini cupcake eating contest, and Chica won as always. Freddy won second, and Bonnie, Foxy and I tied. I think Chica may have stuffed herself a little too much because she started lagging a bit when the games were about to start. First, we had a cake-making contest. Freddy is usually judge, but he had eaten a little too much this morning, so he handed the job over to me. "I'm excellent at eating contests, but I'm absolute rubbish at cooking." Chica said. "Eh, don't sweat about it. This is probably the only free day we have." Freddy reassured her. I announced "Ok, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO! Bonnie was the best cook out of all of us, so she knew what it took to make a good cake. Eggs, unbleached flour, milk, sugar, baking soda, and butter. Foxy was doing okay, but he left out the baking soda and the butter. Freddy only left out the butter, so he was actually doing pretty well. Chica, well I don't exactly know what she threw into the bowl. To be honest, I was dreading tasting her cake. After 30 minutes, Bonnie had already finished baking her cake. Foxy had slightly undercooked his, and Freddy had opened the oven in the middle of the baking, so his had collapsed. Well, Chica had totally forgotten hers, and the cake burned.

When the frosting process started, Bonnie started coating her cake with a fluffy, smooth, buttercream frosting, and she started piping perfect little roses onto it. The, she piped a picture of all of our gang onto the cake. Foxy had smothered his cake with a lumpy, sugar-based icing. Freddy had glopped runny, watered-down frosting all over his uneven cake. Then, I heard a mixer whizzing shrilly, and I saw globs of foul-smelling, watery, frosting fly out of a bowl, splattering everywhere. "CHICA!" Freddy screamed. "Umm, pizza?" I sighed. Chica's cake had come out looking like crap. "Cake time!" Freddy announced eagerly. First off, I had to taste Bonnie's cake. It was deliciously sweet, with the buttercream frosting melting in my mouth. Yum! My world felt hazy and woozy. The cake was so good that it put me in a daydream! "Golden Freddy." A voice sounded. "Earth to Golden Freddy!" I snapped out of my dream and saw Freddy standing over me. Next I was to taste Foxy's cake. It wasn't horrible, but it was flat and soggy in the middle. The icing tasted ok, but I didn't like the texture. Freddy's cake was well, ok. The cake had caved in, and the texture of the frosting was vile, but the flavor was pretty nice.

And for the moment I had been dreading, I had to taste Chica's revolting concoction. "Um...G-guys? I don't think I can do this." "Come on, dude! You'll be my main man if you eat it!" Foxy excitedly shouted while swinging from a lamp. "O-ok! H-here goes" I shut my eyes and stuffed a spoon of rubbish into my mouth. Immediately, a feeling of nausea and dizziness overwhelmed me, and I vomited all over Chica's unfinished pizza slice. The stuff was slimy and nasty! I don't know what that chicken put in the cake, but there certainly wasn't anything good in there. I felt terrible! "GOLDEN FREDDY!" Chica screamed furiously. "Oh yeah, sorry", I said, wiping my mouth, "but you made that cake!" She hung her head in dismay. Bonnie gave me some of her homemade soda to drink, and I felt much better. " Ok, everybody, listen up!" I shouted, "And the winner of the cake contest is... Bonnie!" Everyone was happy for the rest of the afternoon, except for Chica, whose pizza was now topped with my half-digested breakfast!


	2. The New Guys

11:59 AM- Night One

I heard someone coming in through the door- must be the new security guard. "Psst! Hey! Guys!" I whispered. "Get in your locations! Someone's coming!" I then teleported into a secret room where I always hide when I feel like it. Plus, I knew that there were no cameras in here. There were no doors either. I stayed inactive throughout the night, but I only heard other animatronics moving.

Still no activity from me...

Night 2/ November 15, 1987

I overheard that there were these new animatronics that were to replace us. They were called "The Toys" Toy Bonnie, Toy Freddy, Toy Chica, and Toy Foxy, also known as The Mangle because the kids kept on ruining her and nobody bothered to fix her. They all were more kid friendly except for Chica, who now had a curvy waist and she was wearing just underwear and a bib. I'm pretty sure that her new design even included boobs! Now she was Sexy Chica! She looks like a crack addict when she rips off her eyes and her beak. I also found out that we were to be decommissioned and possibly thrown into a dumpster! NOOOOOOOO! I went back to tell the rest of my gang. "Actually, we aren't going to be thrown away. We are just going to be deactivated" Freddy said confidently. "Man, are ya sure?" Foxy asked. " Foxy, I am always sure! And, will you stop being so frickin' nosy!" He replied. "Sorry!" Foxy said apologetically. I heard a faint door creak. "Guys! Psst! Someone is coming in!" Chica whispered. I scrambled to my feet and teleported into my secret room.

Night 3/ November 16, 1987

During the day, we finally met the new animatronics. Mangle and Foxy immediately became best friends. Bonnie and Toy Bonnie really hit it off. Chica gave herself a makeover and she came out looking just like another Toy Chica. Freddy and Toy Freddy started to plot new plans to attack the security guard. But I didn't have a counterpart. I was all alone! "Hey! Golden Freddy! Welcome to the family!" Mangle shouted. "Yeah! Have some blood sauce pizza!" Toy Freddy exclaimed." "Yo dude! Want me to play some rock?" Toy Bonnie shouted. I noticed that she was brandishing a shiny new guitar. "Where's Toy Chica?" "I think I'll go look for her." I said. I teleported all around the pizzeria until no rooms were left to investigate. "Where can she be?" I thought. Suddenly, a horrible thought popped into my head. THE SECRET ROOM!

I immediately teleported to my secret room. A horrible sight lay before my eyes. My room was covered in shattered vodka bottles, syringes, and some whitish powder. I heard a faint moan. I turned my head 360 degrees, and I saw a drunken, high, Toy Chica in my room. There was a syringe partially submerged in her arm, and there was a spoon beside her filled with that mysterious white powder. She smelled like she had been stuck in a vodka bottle for ten years! There was also a cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth. I observer the cigarette, and I noticed that it had that white powder stuck to its tip. Then, it hit me. Toy Chica _was_ a crack addict! AAAAAHHHHHH! I screamed and teleported back to the show stage where my friends were waiting. "What was that all about?" Mangle questioned. "Um, I...I don't think you want to know." I replied nervously. "Oh, yeah! I just forgot. Can you go check in Prize Corner? I left my microphone there." Toy Freddy asked. I sighed. I teleported to Prize Corner, where a golden microphone was sitting on top of a mysterious box. I hesitantly picked up the microphone with a shaky hand. As soon as the microphone left the lid of the box, a creepy-looking puppet popped up and scared the hell out of me. I teleported back to Toy Freddy and handed him the microphone.

Nights 4 and 5 were all the same, boring and lame. I didn't get to do anything, but Freddy wanted me to jump in on Night 6. Ok, then!

Night 6/ November 19, 1987

Apparently, this guy's name was Jeremy Fitzgerald. Freddy whispered me the plan: "First, Bonnie and Chica start moving, then Foxy and Mangle, then The Toys, and finally me. But, I want you to appear when Jeremy is concentrated on playing the music box. Pull down the tablet, and kill him after 1 second. Be careful, though. The night guard is known to throw things. And don't you dare do anything wrong!" He screamed ate me. Gosh! I listened to my instincts. When my mind told me that Jeremy was playing the music box music, I pulled his monitor down in one sharp jolt. He saw me and immediately put on a Freddy Fazbear mask. That didn't fool me! I ripped off the Freddy mask, and I was just about to kill him when I felt a hard, metal, object hit my face. It was the tablet! He threw the frickin' tablet at me! God damn it! I teleported back to my secret room, my forehead now sporting a dent. Toy Chica lay about, drinking beer. "Sooooo, h-how -hic!- diid it goooo?" She slurred in a lagging voice. I angrily pointed to the dent in my face. "Ohhhh, so nottt -hic!-welllll? I slapped her across the face with a book that was lying around. She snapped out of her drunk state. "Oh yeah, the animatronic with supernatural abilities. Hey, ya want to find out how I got hooked on drugs?" She said giddily. I said nothing. "I take that as a yeeees! So, when I first attacked Jeremy, he threw drugs at my mouth, and ever since, I've been hoo-k...e...d...Z...Z...Z" She fell asleep drunk.

Night 7/ November 20, 1987

Guess what? Jeremy quit! I found out that he wasn't the murderer. Also, I figured out how he got past our attacks. There was a guy on the phone that called him every night, and warned him about us. The Phone Guy was now the new night guard. When it was about time to attack, Phone Guy came in and tampered with our A.I.! He set all of ours' to 0, which meant we could barely get into his office! I couldn't move at all! All I did was sit and wait until the daytime people came and fixed me. Phone guy got fired after the owner of the pizzeria found out about him. The big pizzeria was to be moved to a smaller location. The Toy animatronics would be decommissioned. We would be repaired, and put on display! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I would miss the new animatronics, regardless of how annoying they were. I desperately tried to think of a plan to rescue the new animatronics and punish the person that killed me and my friends as well. Suddenly, a rectangular object fell from a shelf above and hit me on the head. "Ow!" I exclaimed. It was a book, but it was no ordinary book. It was a spell book with a golden wand inside. The pages were intricately outlined in gold, and the writing was in a ridiculously fancy font. I read, "Cunctans Exponentia." It was a shrinking spell! I could shrink the new animatronics and hide them inside of my animatronic suit!

An hour of practice later, I had shrunken all of Toy Chica's cigarettes, syringes, and alcohol bottles. I called all of the Toy animatronics over to my secret room. "Guys, I'm going to have to shrink you for your own good." I told them. "You will live inside my empty suit until we move to the new location." "Ok!" They all said together. "RESILIO!" I yelled. The Toys all started rotating around violently. Then, they began to shrink. Slowly, they got to be about the size of a typical action figure. I heard footsteps outside my room, and I heard, "Take this room down, and take the yellow suit out of it. That will be moved to the new pizzeria." "Quick! Get into my suit!" I whispered while ripping my head off. They all scrambled into my suit through my neck. I then put on my head and pretended to be dead. Then, I heard a terrible noise of walls falling, and before I knew it, the whole pizzeria was reduced to smithereens. I was being hauled into a box, and I hated it. There was no light, there was no space, and there was no oxygen...


	3. New Home, New Problems

Night 1/ January 1st, 1988

"Hey! Golden Freddy! Wake up!" It was Foxy. I had passed out on the ride to the new pizzeria. I had also been shut down for a few months until the pizzeria was finished. It was a lot more old-fashioned, and it was a lot smaller. I teleported around to investigate. Heh. Not bad. The new night guard would come today. His name was Mike Schmidt. He wasn't the guy who killed me, but I would love it if we scared him for entertainment. "Ok then! Night one! Let's go!" Mangle shouted from inside my suit. I would not show up until both doors were closed, and until Mike was focused on the tablet. Unfortunately, that never happened tonight.

Night 2/ January 2nd, 1988

Freddy was being an idiot, so he didn't let me attack. I got so BORED! "Hey!" Toy Bonnie whispered from inside my suit. "Why don't you read your spell book? You could learn how to cast awesome spells!" "Ok, thanks for the advice!" I whispered back. I read through each of the spells and the incantations. Hmmm, some looked really easy. I tried a flame-conjuring spell, and I accidentally lit one of Toy Chica's shrunken cigarettes on fire. "CIGARETTE!" Toy Chica exclaimed from inside my head. She burst out of my eye and scrambled down to the floor. She picked up the cigarette, stuck it in her mouth, and made a move toward my eye sockets. "No, DON'T YOU DARE..." I shouted. Too late. She had already gotten into my head, and was getting high. Very high. My head started to spin as tobacco smoke poured out of my empty eye sockets. Suddenly, my head burst into flames. "AAAAAAAHHHHH! CHICA! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" I fumbled with my spell book, head still on fire, and flipped to a water conjuring spell. "VOCARE AQUA!" I shouted as water shot out of the wand and soaked me wet. My face was now badly damaged. "Oo-ops, hic! S-sorry!" Toy Chica said giddily. I smacked her, and she went flying across the room, only to hit the wall.

Night 3/ January 3, 1988

That imbecile Toy Chica set me on fire and damaged my suit last night, so I took care of that this morning when I used a repairing spell on myself. Nothing too much happened during the day, but to make things better, Freddy finally let me scare Mike! When the time came, Bonnie went and scared the guard, Chica stayed outside the door, and Foxy was about to charge. Both doors were closed, and Mike was checking the cameras. I seized the opportunity and teleported inside the room. I then put on my best death glare. Surely enough, it worked. When Mike pulled the tablet down, he saw me and screamed! I then conjured hallucinations that showed Freddy's face and said "It's me". He then hid himself under the table and covered his eyes. I teleported away, content with my scariness. Foxy ran down the hall and high-fived me. "Ya did great, matey!" "Sure, bro." I replied. Freddy, however, was not happy with anyone. He was being a jerk! He scolded me for tilting my head off by one degree, and for not glaring at Mike the right way. I then screeched at him for being such an asshole. One word: I-di-ot. I then teleported to Foxy to set up a plan to beat up Freddy. "Foxy, I need you to get up onto the ceiling lamp where Freddy always hangs around." I told him quietly. "What do you want me to do?" He whispered back. I teleported to the kitchen and grabbed a bucket full of ice and water. Then, I teleported back to Foxy, and handed him the bucket. "I want you to dump this on Freddy when I point to you." Foxy stammered, but I shut him up before anyone could hear.

Prank time! I had already set up Foxy and his bucket, and Freddy was right below the lamp! I teleported sneakily behind him, and lit his hat on fire. Stifling an evil laugh, I teleported onto the lamp with Foxy. Freddy had still not noticed the fire on his hat. The flames crackled violently, and the smell of burned fabric filled the room. "Huh, Chica must be barbecuing something. Smells good." He said. When the fire began to spread to his face, Freddy noticed, and screamed, "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!" "Foxy, NOW!" I whispered. Foxy dumped the bucket of icy water on Freddy's head. The water splashed on his head, sizzling out the flames, and drenching him thoroughly. Then, I teleported to my secret room along with Foxy. I heard a faint "AARRGH! IF I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, I WILL KILL YOU!" Foxy and I laughed till our sides hurt. Now Freddy doesn't have to do the Ice Bucket Challenge again unless he wants to do it. He probably wouldn't do it again since he is such a jerk. I then helped Foxy sneak back to Pirate Cove unnoticed. "COME OUT YOU COWARD! SHOW YOURSELF!" Freddy shouted angrily. "ARE YOU COMING OUT, OR AM I GOING TO GO IN?" He fumed. I quickly teleported back to my secret room. Then I realized that Foxy had left the bucket on the lamp.

He was the only one that could get up there without teleportation. Freddy noticed the bucket on the lamp. "FOXY!" He screamed at the top of his voice box. I shuddered. Freddy was already making his way down to Pirate Cove, and Foxy was about to get strangled. To my horror, I heard several angry screams and one shriek. It was time for me to act. I teleported to the kitchen, where Chica was stuffing her face with pizza. "Hey, wanna slice?" I ignored her and teleported to the biggest stack of pots and pans. I could barely lift them off the counter, and my metal arms trembled under the weight, but I knew that I had to give Freddy a piece of my mind. I quickly teleported onto the lamp in Pirate Cove, and below me, Freddy was about to choke the life out of Foxy. I knew that I had to act soon. When Freddy was about to strangle him, I yelled, "TAKE THAT, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING PIECE OF JUNK!" and hurled the stack of pots at him. Foxy ran off as the pots hit Freddy's head and broke his arm. He immediately started lagging. "Wwwwwhhhoooo waaaassss thaaaa..." He powered down. I teleported back to my secret room.

January 4, 1988

During the day, the staff discovered that Freddy had been broken. He was taken to the mechanic to be repaired. "Hey guys! Freddy won't be coming back for 12 hours! Let's trash this place!" Bonnie yelled. "I'll get the pizza. Golden Freddy and Foxy, you get the silly string and party poppers." I teleported to the supply closet and pulled out 4 cans of silly string for us to use. Chica's was yellow, Bonnie's was purple, Foxy's was red, and mine was blue, matching my hat. I also shrunk some silly string bottles for the shrunken Toy animatronics to use. When the party started, BB saw balloons and went crazy. Toy Chica tried to get everybody to drink vodka mixed with brandy but desperately failed. Toy Bonnie tried to play Bonnie's guitar while running back and forth alongside it. Mangle started working a miniaturized bubble machine. Chica started baking pizzas. The Marionette played some loud music. Foxy was now pulling on the party poppers. They exploded with a bang, and confetti flew all over the room. "WHOOOO! PARTY!" Foxy screamed over the bangs and pops. I whipped out a can of blue silly string and pressed hard on the nozzle. The pressurized strings shot out of the nozzle at high speed, and I decided to have a little fun with it.

I started to teleport and spin all over the room while spraying silly string all over everything and everyone. "YAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I screamed. Bonnie moaned. I stopped whizzing around the room and realized that she had been covered in a layer of silly string. Umm... "Sorry Bonnie!" I said while whizzing around and unraveling her. I then decided to un-shrink the Toy Animatronics, and return them to normal size. Well, that was a big mistake. Foxy started to flirt with Mangle, and she seemed to like him! After approximately 20 minutes of flirting, Foxy pulled Mangle into my secret room. Not a good sign. AT ALL! THIS WAS A FUN PARTY, NOT A VALENTINE'S DAY PARTY! I immediately teleported back to my secret room, and caught Mangle and Foxy making out. I hated romance. When Foxy started going a little overboard with the making out, I almost hurled, and screamed. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" I yelled furiously while feeling sick to my stomach. "Umm, no-nothing t-too much," Foxy stammered. Just then, I heard Freddy coming through the door back from the mechanic shop. I teleported to him and expected to be yelled at, but surprisingly, he grabbed a can of silly string and started to spray it all over me. I had forgotten that he loved parties.

He then ran around the room, all happy and such, yanking party poppers as he went. "Hey Golden Freddy! Who planned this awesome party?" He questioned inquisitively. "Bonnie planned it," I replied. We had our fun for a while, but then, Freddy realized that Foxy and Mangle were gone. AGAIN. "Where are they?" Freddy asked. "I think I know. Follow me," I said. For once, Freddy was being nice to me and the other animatronics EXCLUDING Foxy. I led him to my secret room, and sure enough, he caught Foxy and Mangle making out. AGAIN. I felt sick, but this time, I didn't even come close to hurling. Freddy saw the act and threw up all over ME! "EWW! FOXY! WHAT THE HELL!" He yelled. "EWW! FREDDY! WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed at him while dripping in oil, bolts, and rusty bits. "Sorry dude, my stomach couldn't help it.

January 5, 1988

Chica was cooking breakfast for us all. She said that it would be a pizza pie, so I decided to go to the kitchen and monitor her cooking. It did not go well. At all. She had made a pie, and she was now using the electric mixer to grind up the pie. It looked disgusting. The horrible part came in when she dumped the mixture over a pizza crust, and put it in the oven. Sometime later, a horrid smell wafted through the pizzeria. I gagged, trying not to pass out. Well, Chica left the pizza in the oven, but this time it didn't just burn. Smoke started pouring out of the oven. When the smoke cleared up, I opened the oven, only to be greeted by spontaneous combustion, and a pizza explosion. First, the pie went up in flames. Then, it blew up! Pizza and pie splattered all over the walls of the oven and all over me. I was then welcomed by a stream of noxious fumes floating from the burned mess. "CHICA!" I screamed, infuriated. It turns out that she had mistaken gunpowder and potassium nitrate for sugar, so she had put explosives in the pie! How dumb can you get?

After cleaning myself up, I hung out with Bonnie, Freddy, Chica, and Foxy for the rest of the day, but Toy Chica disrupted my peace. She broke into the fridge, and raided it of all the beer. She then broke into my secret room, where I was playing Scrabble with the rest of the gang. "Hey!" Foxy shouted. "What do you think you are doing, getting drunk on 100 bottles of beer!" Too late. She had already guzzled down half the beer, and was very, very drunk. She started to get closer to Freddy. "HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...MMPH! MFFFFFFFF!" She had started making out with him! "EWW! TOY CHICA? WHY! "Oh dear GOD!" Bonnie exclaimed. "UGH! YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!" Freddy screamed, as he gave Toy Chica a hard smack to the head. Freddy told me to get rid of her for a while, so I teleported to the kitchen, and stuck her body in the freezer. After we finished playing Scrabble, I pulled out my spell book, and showed it to the gang. "Hey guys! What spell should I learn next?" "Hmm. How about the levitation spell?" Bonnie said. We spent the night levitating the miniature custards that Bonnie had made into each other's mouths. Yum!

January 6, 1988

I guess we were all bored, so Bonnie and Toy Bonnie decided to have an epic guitar rock battle. I set up the stage witch a clever contraption so that whoever won would get confetti dropped on them, and whoever lost would get a pie dropped on them. It would all happen just with a pull of a string. Somehow, Freddy approved of that idea! I then set up several smoke machines and strobe lights so that when the Bonnies played guitar, it would create a really cool effect. Foxy then sprinted back and forth on the stage, decorating the place with purple and blue streamers. I got Freddy to paint a picture with me of the Bonnies glaring at each other. After an hour of hard work, we hung the painting on the back of the stage. "Not bad, huh." Freddy said. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Foxy screamed enthusiastically. Bonnie walked up on stage, and the room went pitch black.

All of a sudden, Bonnie started to play an awesome rock guitar riff. I started to work the fog machines, and I turned on the strobe lights. It looked really sick! In fact, Bonnie's rock music made the illusion even better. When she finished, I reduced the fog, and turned off the strobe lights. Then, Toy Bonnie walked onstage and started to sing a disgusting love song called "Thinking Out Loud". To make things worse, she sang and played very poorly. It all came to an end when she started to go a little overboard with the love part. Freddy then yelled, "FOXY! GET THAT ABOMINATION OFF THE STAGE!" On an errand, Foxy sprinted on stage and escorted her off. All the other animatronics were writing down complex score systems, but I knew just what to do. Toy Bonnie definitely lost.

"And the winner of the Guitar Battle is... BONNIE!" Freddy yelled. I pulled on my contraption. Bonnie was showered with confetti and flowers, and Toy Bonnie had Chica's fail of a pizza pie dropped on her head. Just then, I heard some angry screams coming from Toy Bonnie. I heard several slaps, punches, and kicks. Then, I heard a piece of wood snapping, wires breaking, and finally, a long, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"! I immediately teleported to the Show Stage to see what had happened. Toy Bonnie had broken Bonnie's guitar. In a rage, I punched her, and she powered down. Bonnie was very depressed, so we left her to it. Chica tried hi-five me for beating the crap out of Toy Bonnie, but I was kind of depressed too, so I rejected her.

January 7, 1987

God dammit! Today was a really, Really, REALLY MESSED UP DAY! Toy Chica had somehow managed to get out of the freezer that I put her in. I decided to ignore her, but that was a very dumb decision. I started talking to a depressed Bonnie and a hyper Foxy about murder when Toy Chica snuck behind Bonnie. She was holding a massive syringe that had a very strange whitish powder inside of it. Foxy tripped her, and she fell. But, the syringe went flying into Bonnie's back, and Foxy banged into the plunger of the syringe. "Clumsy," I commented. Well, Foxy was fine, but Bonnie wasn't. Her pupils suddenly enlarged, and she started getting, well- high. "So-hi-hic! everybody!- My-m-y name is B-Bonnie! Hic!" "BONNIE! SNAP OUT OF IT!" I screamed at her. "S-snap-out-Hic! o-out of -what? Hic!" She answered stupidly. Foxy slapped her across the face. "Seriously dude, snap out of it!" He exclaimed. "Hey-why-why don't-Hic! We go and get..." She got so high that she powered down.

I shot a glare at a partially broken Toy Chica. "What?" She asked. I punched her a couple times, and she powered down. "Oh NO!" Foxy screamed. His hook had fallen off, revealing a mess of wires and metal. "It must have been the damage from the trip," I replied. Bonnie got high, Toy Chica got beaten up by me, Foxy's hook broke off, and I am just so god damn pissed right now! I decided to teleport back to the secret room and learn more spells, but an unsightly scenario greeted me. Balloon Boy and The Marionette were making out in my room! "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SICKOS! THAT IS SO GAY!" I screamed angrily at them, then I chucked a flashlight at BB. They both scrambled out of my secret room. I returned to the Show Stage, but a nasty surprise awaited me. All of the remaining animatronics were holding silly string bottles, and before I knew it, silly string was shooting out at me. A long strand of silly string shot through my eye and messed me up. "What-was thaaat f-f-foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor..." I slurred as I powered down.

January 9, 1988

I was sent back to the pizzeria two days after the whole silly string incident. When I got back, I was welcomed by an awesome party! There was an awesome feast, awesome décor, and there was definitely going to Bonnie's famous apple pie! I walked into the pizzeria, and Foxy immediately sprinted to me. "Yo dude! Check out the awesome party! Everything was gold, and Bonnie even made my favorite blood sauce pizza! "Duck!" Someone yelled. Chica and Toy Freddy were playing Pizza Frisbee. Chica accidentally missed her aim, and the pizza went flying into Freddy's face! "CHIIIIIICCCCCAAAAA!" Freddy screamed angrily while attempting to get pizza off his face. "O-oops..." Chica stammered. And of course, there was silly string. "Ok guys. I'm gonna teleport all over the room and spray silly string. The last person that remains without touching the silly sting wins." I started teleporting around, and I got the fat ones out in the first round. Next, down went Freddy and Toy Bonnie. "EAT THIS, CRACK WHORE!" I screamed at Toy Chica while rapid spamming the nozzle on my silly string bottles. "DON'T CALL ME THA-" Her reply was cut off by a wad of silly string to the mouth.

After game time, I settled down at a table and started to eat. The smell of cinnamon and apples drifted through the air, and all of a sudden, Bonnie fell from the ceiling, holding her world-famous apple pie. "YAY!" We all shouted in unison. The second that Bonnie's hands left the pie, we all started digging in. Every single bit of it was perfect, from the crispy, flaky crust to the decadent, sweet, and fragrant apple filling. But there was something weird with the pie. As soon as I finished my pie, I felt a sudden rush of euphoria, and my whole world became all hazy and wobbly. "Yay!" Rainbows and unicorns and fluffiness!" Chica exclaimed giddily. "Chica-Hic! W-What are yo-Hic! talking ab-about?" I stuttered. "D-Don't you-Hic! see them?" She stammered. "Hic! What-Hic! the hell-Hic! is h-happening-Hic! t-t-to me?" Foxy spluttered.

"Guys-Hic! I-I don't-Hic!- f-feel so-Hic!-good," Freddy managed to stutter out through a barrage of hiccups. "I feel-Hic!-so h-happy!" Toy Bonnie lisped while making her way down to a stack of party poppers. "What's happening?! What is wrong with all of you?! Toy Bonnie! Don't you dare go near those explosives!" She was too late. Toy Bonnie was already making her way to Bonnie, holding 5 party poppers. "DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME HOLDING THOSE-" "Ya-Hic!-wanna play-Hic!?" "NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOO! Toy Bonnie accidentally pulled on the strings of the party poppers, and they went off with a loud "BANG!" "Oh-HIC!-d-dear God," I muttered to myself. When the debris cleared, we all stumbled over to check on Bonnie, and we all screamed. Her face was blown up, revealing a mess of wires, a visible endoskeleton, and two red, glowing eyes. Just then, Chica collapsed, followed by Freddy, Foxy, and the rest of the gang except for me. "BONNIE!" I screamed furiously. "HOW DARE YOU PUT RUBBISH INTO THE P-..." I blacked out.


	4. The Nightmare

I then had several hallucinations. There was a grinning purple man climbing into a deteriorated golden Bonnie suit. He fastened all the parts, and prepared to pick up a knife. All of a sudden, I heard springs snapping, and the sound of metal cutting through flesh. Then, I heard several dreadful screams, and blood started spurting from the suit. Suddenly, all of it faded away with static, and a message, "I will be back. I will always be back." I snapped awake, and it was pitch black in the room I was laying in. I shuddered. Just then, I had a horrible thought. I remembered my past. The purple guy was the one who murdered me and my friends. The memories of the murder came back, and I blacked out again.

January 10, 1988

When I woke up, it was already midday. I decided that I wanted to learn more spells, so I teleported to my secret room. I had always wanted to spy on the others, but I could never get a good view without getting caught. I took out my spell book, flipped to an invisibility spell, and proceeded to turn myself invisible. I also dug out a video camera and turned it invisible to record anything that happened. Hehehe. Now I could spy on the others without even having a single chance of getting caught. First, I teleported to the kitchen, where Chica was stuffing her face with pizza and cupcakes. The door to the kitchen swung open, and Toy Freddy was standing at the entrance, looking severely pissed. I immediately pulled out my video camera and hit the record button. "YOU LITTLE BITCH! IT WAS YOU WHO WAS STEALING MY FOOD!"He screamed furiously. MMPHNPH! MMPHMPH! MMMNNPHNMPH!" Chica protested with her mouth full. "I'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO MESS WITH ME, YOU FAT, COCKY, IDIOT!" "MMNPH! MMNPHMNPH! She screamed. Toy Freddy lunged toward Chica, and punched her hard. The two then started to wrestle. "YOU-Little...AAARGH! YOU IDIOT!" Chica had spit her pizza all over his face. I strained myself from cracking up. This scene was far too hilarious to miss. "I HATE YOU, CHICA! FREDDY!" Toy Freddy called out. I then teleported to Pirate Cove. Foxy was running like crazy around the place. He kept on sprinting and sprinting until he tripped over the curtains and went flying. "AAAAH! THEM BLASTED CURTAINS!" He screamed. I snickered. Everyone was screwing up today, and I was there to witness them screw up -and record it!

I then teleported back to my secret room, still invisible, and expected nobody to be there. I was wrong about that. I heard a noise, and I immediately pulled out my camera and hit record. I turned around, and in a corner of the room, Toy Chica and Freddy, both drunk, were making out! I restrained myself from hurling, and when I had enough footage, I grabbed my spell book and wand and teleported backstage. I reverted myself back to normal, and teleported to the rest of the animatronics. "Hey guys! Check this out!" I selected the video of them making out, and clicked play. "Oh GOD! What the hell?!" Bonnie exclaimed. "Unbelievable! How did ya get the footage?" Foxy asked. "I turned myself invisible, and just saying, they're both REALLY drunk," I said. "Wait a minute! You guys remember what happened when we ate that pie?" Chica asked. "We got high, didn't we?" Foxy asked. "Wait a minute- THERE WERE DRUGS IN THAT PIE! BONNIE!" I shouted angrily. "I-I swear to God, I didn't put anything in the pie! All there was was cinnamon, water, lemon juice apples, and sugar!" She said frantically. "Well, I suppose that you put those ingredients in. But you can do better than getting us all high!" I screeched and teleported away to my secret room.

"I can't believe she drugged that pie!" I muttered angrily to myself. "Pie-HIC!-?" A shaky voice sounded from the back of the room. Toy Chica lay at the back of the room, extremely intoxicated and high. "What do you want?" I snapped angrily. "I-I may-HIC!- have added a little s-s-s-s-something extra-HIC!- to that p-p-pie that was-HIC!- only m-m-m-meant for me, bu-HIC!- but y-y-ou g-g-g-g-guys go-HIC!-got to it befo-HIC!- before I did," She slurred. "Wait a minute...YOU LITTLE SHIT! IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! YOU PUT COCAINE IN BONNIE'S SUGAR! I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT!" I screeched furiously and bashed in her head with a wine bottle until she powered down. I then reached for the spell book to turn her into something nasty, but it was gone. Gone! "DAMN IT!" I screamed. I teleported to the Show Stage to find the culprit. "OK, which one of you stole my spell book? Hand it over NOW, or else-" My command was cut off by crying. The sound of tiny footsteps came toward me, and something small started hitting me. I turned around, only to find that Toy Bonnie was pestering me, but I also noticed that she had reduced significantly in size. She had turned into a toddler!


	5. Babies?

Toy Bonnie jumped up and grabbed my bowtie, and started dragging me toward the crying noise. "Dude, STOP! STOP IT! YOU'RE STRANGLING ME!" I exclaimed. She stopped at the supply closet, and I said, "Dude, that was NOT cool. You should really learn not to do that to people. She pointed to a corner. "OH MY GOD! BONNIE? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?" Bonnie had turned into a baby rabbit! She squeaked. I sighed. I was going to have to take care of them for quite a while. I decided to go get the others to inform them of the news. A few minutes later, all the others were standing in the supply closet, looking in awe at the baby rabbits. "OMG! THEY'RE SO CUTE!" Chica squealed. "Oh dear GOD! WHAT THE HELL!" Freddy exclaimed, in shock. "Dude, how are you gonna take care of them?" Foxy asked. "You'll see," I replied.

I brought Bonnie and Toy Bonnie into my secret room. I noticed a stick-like object on the floor, and it turns out, it was my wand. I could still do spells I already knew. At first when I put them to sleep, they were fine, and I could read something on my own, but my peace was only temporary. Soon after I finished reading the first chapter of my book, Toy Bonnie woke up and turned her head toward me. "Don't you dare!" I snapped. "Stay where you are...MMMPH! STOP THIS NOW, YOU LITTLE BITCH..!" She had launched herself at my face, and was now pulling on my ears. "GET OFF OF MY FACE!" I screamed, as angry as a wasp that had just had it's nest destroyed. "UGGH! GET...OFF!" I pulled her off my face and threw her to the ground. Then, Bonnie woke up, and her lip started quavering. "No! Don't you dare..." "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bonnie had started crying uncontrollably. "I knew that was going to happen," I muttered angrily to myself. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Bonnie was now screaming at the top of her lungs. "UGH! You're gonna make me go deaf ANY SECOND NOW!" I screamed. She would not shut up! Just then, an idea popped into my head. I teleported to the shelf that held paper, ignoring Bonnie's wailing. I quickly snatched a sheet of paper, crumpled it up, and stuffed it in Bonnie's mouth. "WAAAAHHH..." She had started to suck on the paper ball. I sighed. How was I going to get them to sleep? Then, I remembered that I had learned how to perform a sleeping spell. I used the spell on both of them, and they both went peacefully to sleep.

January 11, 1988

The next morning when I woke up, Bonnie saw me and squealed happily. "Goo dee!" She babbled. Toy Bonnie woke up. She looked horrible. Her eyes didn't have the light that they used to have., and she looked like she was going to hurl any second now. "Oh dear God! I said as I put my hand against her head. It was burning like a stove. Suddenly, she leaned away from me, faced Bonnie, and retched. "No, no, NO! DON'T YOU DARE!" I screamed frantically, not knowing what to do. She retched again, and hurled all over Bonnie. She then collapsed in a heap on the floor. "WWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" I sighed. Bonnie, now covered in vomit, was bawling her eyes out AGAIN! God damn it! I very hesitantly picked up Toy Bonnie and leaned her over a bucket. She hurled again. I then picked up a sobbing Bonnie and carried her off to the bathroom. "Now you listen to me. I'm gonna clean you up, so PLEASE STOP CRYING!" I exclaimed, very frustrated and stressed. Bonnie whimpered. I carried her to the sink and got ready to rinse the sick off of her, but when I turned the water on, she leapt out of my arms in fright, fell to the floor, and started bawling.

"Damn it!" I thought as I brought Bonnie to the supply closet and put her in a cardboard box. I then sucked up to the gang saying that I needed my spell book back. "Oh, is this gold book your spell book? I found it in the kitchen next to a beer cooler," Toy Freddy replied. "Oh God, YES! Thanks, bro!" I replied, relieved that now nobody was going to be able to mess around again. Then, I went into my secret room to grab my wand, and I teleported to the supply closet, where a filthy Bonnie was now sleeping in her cardboard box. I flipped to the cleaning spell, and said the incantation. "Purgo," I whispered. The sick on Bonnie immediately disappeared, along with the horrid smell of sick. I went back to the secret room, but this time I noticed that Toy Bonnie was gone.

"NOOO! TOY BONNIE! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT, YOU FILTHY LITTLE ABOMINATION!" I screamed angrily. I slammed the door behind me, and rushed frantically down the hall. I kept on sprinting down the hall, until I spotted Toy Freddy at the end. I skidded to a halt, crashing into him. "Sorry, dude. Have you seen Toy Bonnie around?" He replied, "Actually, no, I haven't. Wait! I see something small moving! That could be her!" He exclaimed as he excitedly rushed over to see her. I tried to warn him, "Just be careful because she...has ...the...stomach...flu..." He was already about 4 feet away from her! I teleported over to both of them. Toy Bonnie spotted Toy Freddy and started to head toward him. "Woah there! Easy, little guy- W-w-wait, what?" A glaze suddenly came over her eyes, and her abdomen heaved. "Oh dear god, get away from me!" Toy Freddy exclaimed, shocked and frantic. Suddenly, she stumbled toward Toy Freddy and threw up all over him. " OH GOD! EWW! EWW! EWW! GET THAT STUFF OFF OF ME! OH MY GOD!" He exclaimed frantically. "Hold on a sec, I'll be right back!" I shouted to him as I teleported to my secret room, snatched my wand, and teleported back to him. I used my cleaning spell, and he thanked me by inviting me to the kitchen to make pizzas with him.

The pepperoni pizzas came out perfect! Toy Freddy and I ate our shares, and after we finished, he made a dumb mistake. He had left the leftover pizza out on the kitchen counter. I went back to the secret room to check on Bonnie and Toy Bonnie, but I was shocked at what I saw when I arrived. Bonnie was standing up and walking. "Oh, no!" I thought. Then, I realized that Bonnie was headed for the door! "No! Stay where you are! No, get back here this instant!" I screamed while stumbling over objects on the floor. She kept on walking forward, babbling gleefully as she went. "Fweddy!" She screamed. Freddy had just closed the door to the kitchen, and Bonnie had spotted him. "What the hell is going on?" He asked, panicking. "She-she learned how to-OW!" I had tripped over a beer bottle that Toy Chica had left out for a while. "s-she learned how to walk," I moaned, in pain. I lifted my head up to check where Bonnie was, but she was gone. And the door to the kitchen was open! Suddenly, many deafening clangs sounded, and I burst into the kitchen, only to find that Bonnie had dropped a stack of pots on the ground. "BONNIE!" I screamed, full of rage. She stared at me with watery eyes, and burst into tears. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! YOU MEAN!" She managed to say through her tears.

"Wait, WHAT?!" I screamed, shocked and angry. "You MEAN!" She shrieked. "WHAT? OH DEAR GOD, YOU'RE TALKING! FREDDY!" Freddy came over to lecture Bonnie. "Now, sweetie, I know that you are smart, and you know how to talk, but there are some words that we can never be allowed to say, " He said with a sweet, sugar-coated voice. "Freddy, that's ENOUGH!" I screeched angrily. "Bonnie, that word is not a very bad word, and there are many words that are much worse than that. Mean is not a bad word, " I explained. "Ok, Mr. Golden Fweddy! Fweddy! You mean!" She shouted. "WHAT! HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" He screamed, full of rage and ready to explode. "You mean! I HATE YOU!" Bonnie screamed, and she ran back to her room and started crying. I glared at Freddy. "Nice job, douchebag. You insulted a BABY," I said sarcastically. Freddy gawked with his jaw hanging open, bewildered and angry. I teleported away to check on Toy Bonnie and Bonnie. Toy Bonnie's fever had receded, and she had stopped vomiting. She was still very tired, though. I teleported to the kitchen and grabbed a sheet of plastic wrap. I teleported back to the secret room, and made a makeshift pacifier for Bonnie. "Thanks, Mr. Golden Fweddy. You nice," She said sweetly. "Good night, both of you, I said as I turned off the lights and collapsed on the floor.

January 12, 1988

Something started poking me. "Stop it," I said sleepily. It poked me harder. "Seriously, stop it! I'm not kidding!" The "thing" started to jump on me. "OW! GOD! WHAT THE HELL!" I snapped awake. Toy Bonnie was standing in front of me with a sly smirk on her face. "YOU! Oh, look who's being the most annoying little jerk," I said, irritated. "Wait, did you fully recover?" I asked her. She nodded. "Oh, YES! YES! No more stomach flu for you, Toy Bonnie!" Suddenly, Toy Bonnie sprinted out of the door. "Oh, God, come back here now!" She smirked at me, and darted toward the supply closet. "Oh, CRAP!"

I screamed as I scrambled to my feet and sprinted down the hall. I skidded to a halt in front of the supply closet door. I prepared to barge in and teach toy Bonnie a lesson, but just then, I heard a lock click. She had locked me out. "GOD DAMN IT!" I shouted angrily. I prepared to punch the door open, but I remembered that I was too smart for brute force. I teleported inside the supply closet and shouted, "I'VE GOT YOU NOW, YOU LITTLE..." My reply was cut off by someone blowing a raspberry above me. I tilted my head upwards, and to my horror, I saw Toy Bonnie climbing into the vent system. "Crap!" I thought.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. Those vents led to the kitchen! I could block her from escape! Plus, it was a long way to the kitchen, so I would have quite a while before she could get out. First, I teleported to the secret room and grabbed my wand. I sealed the vent opening in the supply closet so that there would be no escape. Then, I set up a contraption towards the very end of the vent system. I created two slots in the top wall of the vent tunnel with my spell book and wand, and I teleported to the supply closet to find some metal. I found two pieces of barred metal that would fit perfectly in the vent, and I set the vents up so that when Toy Bonnie came to the end of the vent, I would let go of a string, and the two pieces of metal would fall and trap her. I pulled the strings, and I waited. Surely, after about a couple of minutes, Toy Bonnie showed up. Once she got to the end of the vent tunnel, I let go of the string, and the metal fell with a deafening clang. I shuddered. I could hear rattling noises in the "cage". Toy Bonnie was trapped inside, looking angrier than ever. I walked in front of the vent and smirked at her. "That's what you get for pissing me off," I said. Suddenly, she tensed up, and she snapped the cage metal in half. She growled. My jaw fell open, and I stared at her in astonishment.

"GRRRRR!" Toy Bonnie screamed as she launched herself at my face and punched me. Talk about brute force! The little bitch was now heading for the counter. I heard a noise, and turned to see Freddy stuffing his face with leftover pizza. "Hey dude! Oh, and I see you brought Toy Bonnie with you. Hey little guy! You want to- NO! THAT'S MY PIZZA!" Toy Bonnie had leaped onto Freddy's table and was pulling at a slice of pizza. The cheese stretched as it got thinner and thinner.. and... SNAP! The cheese broke, sending Toy Bonnie flying backwards. "Looks like someone didn't pay attention in physics class," I muttered to myself. Then, I heard a faint crying noise. I groaned. Bonnie had woken up from her nap.


	6. Cussing Bonnie

I carried Toy Bonnie back to the room, where Bonnie was crying. "Listen here, you little pest! NEVER-DO-THAT-AGAIN!" I said under my breath, infuriated. I then picked up Bonnie, who was still crying, and carried her outside the room. I walked down the hall and turned left, only to see Freddy carrying a perfectly frosted cake. "Huh," I thought "Maybe Toy Freddy made it, since Freddy lacks artistic and cooking skills." Suddenly, Foxy popped out of nowhere, and sprinted down the hall TOWARD Freddy. "No! FOXY! STOP!" I screamed. Bonnie stopped crying. She pointed at Foxy and giggled. Just as Foxy was about to collide with Freddy, Freddy's eyes opened wide in horror, and his jaw dropped. I heard a sickening crash, and the two were lying in a heap on the ground. Cake was splattered all over both of them. "OH MY GOD, F*CK YOU, FOXY! WHY THE HELL DO YOU ALWAYS SCREW EVERYTHING UP?!" Freddy had gone ballistic. "I-I-I,but-" Foxy stammered, his eyes full of fear and shame. "NO BUTS! YOU ARE THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO MY LIFE! YOU'RE SUCH A F*CKING ASSHOLE!" Freddy screamed, and he stormed off.

"Goldie, what does f*ck mean?" Bonnie asked me. "Uhh, it- I don't think you want to know," I replied. "Tell me! Tell me! Pretty pleeease! "Ugh, FINE! It either means sexual intercourse, or it is intended as an insult if someone is severely pissed! Now you know!" I exclaimed, slightly ticked off. "What is sexual intercourse?" Bonnie asked. "Oh, dear GOD, DO NOT GO THERE!" I said as I picked up Bonnie and took her back to my room. "Still, what does it mean?" She questioned. "Alright, FINE! Let me show you. I teleported both of us to Pirate Cove, and you can just figure out what Foxy and Mangle were doing. Bonnie saw them in the act, and let out an ear-splitting scream. I covered my ears and shuddered. "Foxy, SERIOUSLY! STOP HAVING SEX WITH MANGLE! IT IS REVOLTING, HORRID, AND NAUSEATING, SO JUST STOP! I screamed, and took Bonnie back to the secret room.

Bonnie was shuddering nonstop. "I TOLD you, you didn't want to know!" I exclaimed. Bonnie whimpered. Toy Bonnie hopped over to me and exclaimed, "Ooh! Tell me about it! Who was f*cking each other?" She asked excitedly. "Toy Bonnie, No! Just NO." I said angrily. Suddenly, the door to the room flew open, and standing at the entrance was no other than Toy Chica. She was holding a massive bottle of vodka and a large syringe filled with heroin. "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU SLUT! I screamed, infuriated like hell. "I'm g-gonna do this-HIC!-" She slurred as she threw the giant syringe at Toy Bonnie. It pierced her in the back. Shocked, she stumbled backwards and fell on the plunger of the syringe. "GOD, YOU BITCH! ALL YOU DO IS GET DRUNK, GET HIGH, AND HAVE SEX! YOU ARE A FILTHY WHORE!" I screamed, ballistic. "You-HIC!- w-want some v-vodkaaaa?" She slurred. "NO! WHAT THE F-MMPH! MMPH!" She had stuffed the massive vodka bottle into my mouth. I tried not to swallow, but the pressure of copious amounts of vodka was too much to handle. My throat muscles relaxed, and I passed out drunk.

January 13, 1988

I woke up dizzy, and I vomited from all the alcohol. I was going to find my wand and spell book so that I could clean it up, but they were gone. AGAIN! I groaned. Just then, Bonnie woke up and started crying, so I fashioned a basket with straps so that I could carry Bonnie around effortlessly. After cleaning the mess. I sucked up to the gang and shouted. "Seriously! WHO HAS THE SPELL BOOK?" I shouted angrily, still feeling slightly sick to my stomach. The gang murmured for a while, but I realized that Freddy was gone. "Guys! Where's Freddy! "Um, about that," Toy Freddy began, but his reply was cut off by a door slamming shut. Freddy emerged from the door, but he was wearing a super slutty dress and whore makeup. I felt even sicker, so I teleported to the nearest trash can and hurled. The sight of Freddy wearing a hooker's dress made me SICK! "Say, hi everybody! Heeheeheehee!" He- or rather she, I should say, said in a high pitched, drunken voice. "Whore!" Bonnie yelled excitedly. "Oh GOD!" Foxy said, about to be sick, as he ran over to a trash can and threw up. " Oh, aren't I just sooooooooooo beautiful? Oh! I see a sexy man over there!" Freddy said giddily as she made her way over to Toy Freddy. "Oh, GOD! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Toy Freddy shouted frantically, trying to get as far away as possible from Freddy the Whore.

"Come heeeeeere, s-s-sexy! I know t-t-that you-HIC!- you want my body!" CRASH! "Oh, CRAP! NO, GET AWAY!" Toy Freddy had tripped over a beer can and had been wedged in between two storage boxes. "Now y-you can't g-g-get away from meeeeeeeeee! I'm g-gonna fuck you!" Freddy said drunkenly. Oh, CRAP! SHIT! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU MONSTER! OH GOD! EWWWW! MMMPH! MMMNPHH!" Freddy had started making out with a disgusted Toy Freddy." I nudged Foxy and said to him, "Gaaaaaaaaaay!" He stifled a laugh. Toy Freddy leaned over and hurled for approximately 15 seconds. He then passed out from shock and disgust. "Haha! Gay!" Bonnie shouted happily. Oh God. Freddy would kill me if he was in his normal state of mind for letting Bonnie swear! I knocked Freddy out with a punch, and I teleported to the secret room. Inside, a hyperactive, most likely high Toy Bonnie as ricocheting off the walls. "God, that bitch!" I muttered as I remembered that Toy Chica had gotten Toy Bonnie high.

January 14, 1988

Today was Bonnie's worst day. I was in the kitchen with Bonnie and Toy Freddy, making a lemon meringue pie, when Freddy burst through the door, holding a diaper. "Whore!" Bonnie screamed. "Hiiiii there-HIC!-c-cutie!" Freddy exclaimed giddily. "What do you want?" I snapped. "I-HIC! wanna-d-d-d-do this," she said drunkenly. She made her way over to Bonnie, who squealed and ran away from her. Bonnie stumbled and fell in a corner. "Bonnie! No!" I screamed. I heard several whines, screams, and hiccups, and when the two separated, Bonnie was in a diaper! "I'LL GET YOU, YOU...MMMPH!" Toy Freddy had covered Bonnie's mouth, but she kept on letting out muffled screams. Freddy then started teasing Bonnie, which made her cry. Desperate times called for desperate measures! I picked up my pie, took a deep breath, and chucked it at Freddy's face. She stumbled ineptly across the room, and crashed into a stack of canned pizza sauce, whose contents came raining down on her. all over her. Bonnie immediately stopped crying, and burst into laughter. "F*cking biiiiiiiiiitch!" I said. I regretted wasting my pie on tormenting Freddy, but it was worth it. REALLY worth it.

January 15, 1988

Holy SHIT! I never knew that Freddy was lesbo until today! Toy Chica was stumbling down the hall, presumably drunk, and Freddy came to her. "You're-HIC! s-sexy!" Freddy said drunkenly. "God!-HIC!- A-are you l-l-lesbian?" Toy Chica said quite normally, in shock. "Hey! Guys! Come here! Things are about to get good!" Within seconds, the whole gang stood behind me. Suddenly, Freddy leaned in and made out with Toy Chica! I nudged Foxy and said, "I don't know about you, but that's lesbian!" Foxy burst out laughing. Bonnie repeated me. "I don't know about you, but that's lesbian!" She shouted. "That's right! Lesbian!" I exclaimed.

I teleported back to my secret room. Suddenly, a gleaming, golden object inside of Toy Bonnie's box bed blinded me for a short time. I teleported to it, and sitting there, was my spell book and wand. God damn it! That imbecile Toy Chica was the reason why this all happened. She was the one who got Toy Bonnie high. She was the one who made Toy Bonnie steal my spell book and change Freddy's gender. She was the one who made us all sick! I swear to God, I will wring that bitch's neck the next time that I see her. I had enough of the Bonnies being babies, so I looked in my spell book to find an aging spell, but the page was ripped out! Someone had clearly set me up for this! Looks like I'm gonna be stuck with babies for quite a while!

January 16, 1988

Well, looks like Bonnie finally learned what f*ck meant. I was heading down to the kitchen with Bonnie to get something to eat, but something really ticked Bonnie off. Chica must have finally learned how to cook, because I saw her walking down the hall, holding a perfect pizza. But Foxy, supposedly doing his morning workout, sprinted down the hall and crashed into Chica. The pizza went flying and landed on top of Bonnie with a splat, just as Freddy came out of the kitchen. "F*ck you!" Bonnie said angrily, her face covered in melted cheese and tomato sauce. "Sweetie, that's another of those words," Freddy said in a sugar coated, condescending voice. "What do you mean, you say them all the time?" Bonnie whined. "Honey, I would never swear in front of you!" Freddy exclaimed. "She's got a point, you know," I added. "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! Freddy yelled furiously. He hated being proven wrong. Tears welled up in Bonnie's eyes, and she started crying. "Here's a fact, did you know that Freddy is a jerk to babies?" I asked Freddy. He growled and stormed off.

Later in the day, Bonnie was playing backstage, and she slipped, and fell down the stairs to the basement. "OW! OW! OW! F*CK! F*CK! F*CKING SHIT! DAMN IT! F*CK! F*CK! F*CK!" She screamed in pain and anger as she hurtled down the stairs. Freddy was waiting at the end. "Again, sweetheart? I thought I told you not to say bad words," He told her. "F*CK YOU, FREDDY! F*CK ALL OF YOU!" Bonnie screamed furiously, her eyes filled with tears. "Freddy, f*ck off, you fat bastard!" I snapped. "Yeah! You're a fat bastard!" Bonnie taunted. Freddy stormed off, muttering curse words. Later, I got Bonnie to take a nap, but the second I exited my secret room, Freddy confronted me. "HOW DARE YOU MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME!" He screamed furiously. "You obviously have no experience in parenting. You swear more than me in front of kids, and you obviously can't control your anger issues," I replied calmly. "STILL, HOW DARE YOU! BONNIE CALLED ME A BASTARD, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" He screamed. I heard feet pattering, so I turned my head and saw Bonnie standing next to me, her arms crossed. "You set a horrible example for kids," I continued on. "You're the one who taught Bonnie to swear, not me!" Freddy startedscreaming, and he jumped up and down angrily, fists clenched.

I carried Bonnie to the secret room, where my wand was laying on the floor. She jumped out of my arms and ran towards it. "No, don't mess with that! Give it to me!" I shouted frantically. Damn! She had started chewing on it! "BONNIE!" I yelled. She looked up at me and smiled. The wand fell out of her mouth. Just then, Toy Bonnie fell from the ceiling and landed on my shoulders. I wanted them to turn back into adults, but I couldn't do it. I didn't have a spell for it. I carefully looked through the spell book again, and I didn't find it. But I did find a section for... Potions? Apparently, whoever ripped out the aging spell didn't bother to rip out the aging potion! There was still hope, except for the fact that I had to get all these strange, mysterious plants. Nightshade, wolfsbane, aconite, where would I find all this? I would have to go out into the human world in order to find these! I would have to sneak out at night!


	7. Sneaky Goldie

January 17, 1988

When night came, I covered myself in black fabric, and prepared for the mission. I decided that I would bring Bonnie along with me, since she would cry if I left her alone. I dug out an old, black, velvet curtain and fashioned an outfit for Bonnie. We ended up looking like ninjas, but that was kind of the point. I also whipped together a few straps, a pot, and some hooks, and created a new basket. I set Bonnie in the basket and strapped it to my back. "Ready?" I asked Bonnie. "Ready more than ever!" She replied. "Ok! Let's do this!" I shouted, and I teleported out into the outside world. I arrived at an old, creepy mansion, where ivy was crawling up the walls. Bonnie whined, "It's too scary!" "Shh! We can't leave until we have the plants!" I whisper-yelled. We needed Nightshade, a drop of syrup from the Maximus tree, wolfsbane, and aconite. Crap! There were no trees in sight! I teleported into a garden, and I got lucky. There was nightshade creeping up an arch in the center of the garden. "We've found nightshade, Bonnie!" I whispered excitedly. "Yay!" She whispered back. I picked 3 nightshade blossoms off of the vine, and moved on to find some wolfsbane. There were several gardens surrounding the mansion, so we would have to search for a while.

I teleported to a nearby garden, but there was no wolfsbane to be seen. A spider crawled up my back, its spindly legs poking at my spine. I shuddered. An owl hooted in the midst of the night, making Bonnie whimper. I searched many other gardens, and finally, I came across some wolfsbane. After I collected my share, Bonnie, excited more than ever, squealed in delight at the sight of the wolfsbane. A nearby dog's booming bark sounded. "Damn it!" I thought. Bonnie continued to squeal, and I desperately tried to shut her up. Suddenly, a dark shadow appeared in front of us. I gasped. The shadow trotted toward us. Soon, a big, burly, intimidating dog appeared in front of us. I froze still and held my breath. The dog sniffed my legs and circled me. Shivering, I eyed the dog, who was now checking out Bonnie. Fortunately, the dog, disinterested, trotted away back to the house. I exhaled, and burst into a fit of coughing. When I recovered, I returned back to collecting plants. Crap! I had forgotten what aconite was! I looked at the nightshade and wolfsbane in my basket, and I sighed. I might be stuck with these babies forever!

Suddenly, something popped into my head. Aconite was the same thing as wolfsbane! I gathered more wolfsbane, but I still needed one more ingredient. Suddenly, Bonnie screamed out, "YAY!" The sound echoed through the night, startling a flock of birds and disturbing the peace. I covered her mouth, but it was too late. A light turned on from inside, and soon, the whole house was awake. I teleported far away from the house into a field full of tall grass, and assumed that I was safe there. I was wrong. They were still pursuing me. Several minutes later, a light shone and hit me, and I heard a human shout, "There it is!" Another said, "Stop where you are!" I froze and stared back at them, but they pulled out rifles and pointed the barrels at me. "What do you think you are doing? Get the f*ck out of MY land, you bastard!" The bigger man shouted. "Uh, SORRY! It's in the middle of the night, and it's really dark! None of the lights in the house were on! How the hell would I know where I was?" I lied quickly. "Oh GOD! I HATE LOGICAL PEOPLE!" He screamed angrily. "F*ck you!" I screamed angrily. The man clenched his fists with rage, and shouted, "Smithers, SHOOT HIM!" I sprinted away, and while I ran, Bonnie stuck her middle finger up and said, "Suck on it, BITCHES!" The men charged, and I quickly picked up a nearby rock, straining from the weight, and teleported onto a tree. I heard a faint "Where'd he go?" Another voice sounded, "I don't know, and I don't care! Isn't it a bit harsh to shoot a trespasser who doesn't know who he is?"

I heard more indistinct chatter, but soon, the men arrived at the tree where I was hiding. "That bastard! No one would DARE to trespass MY land!" He shouted angrily, while jumping up and down in fury. Suddenly , Bonnie sneezed. To my horror, the men looked up and spotted us. "THERE THEY ARE!" One screamed, and they both pulled the triggers on their rifles. They were just about to shoot when I picked up my rock, and dropped it from the 10 foot high tree. The rock landed on top of the bastards with a sickening crunch. I clambered down the tree with celerity and tried to teleport, but I was lagging. I sprinted away at top speed, Bonnie gripping my waist and holding onto life. After a while of vigorous sprinting, I fell on the ground, panting. I looked up, and I recognized something about the trees that I was near. The gargantuan trunks, the familiar cordate leaves, and the unique patterns on the bark. I was laying on the ground right next to a forest of Maximus trees! "Oh my God, oh my GOD!" I exclaimed in delight. I quickly drilled a small hole with a drilling contraption I built, and I let the sap flow into a flask. The color of the sap was glorious, a brilliant fiery red that glimmered before my eyes. I decided to test the sap out just to make sure that it was Maximus tree sap. I picked up a spider on the ground, and dripped a miniscule amount of sap into its mouth. Immediately, it began to grow, and I eventually ended up with a gargantuan spider the size of a deer!

"Yes! It worked!" I shouted excitedly. Bonnie chimed in and yelled "Yeah!" Exhausted and happy, I teleported back to the pizzeria with Bonnie. The sun was just beginning to rise, and all the others were still sleeping. I told Bonnie, "We did well. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to do something evil." I took out all of my potion equipment and prepared for the brewing.


	8. Little Abominations

January 18, 1988

Today was absolutely horrid. My day was ruined by two little abominations- Bonnie and Toy Bonnie.

Bonnie really started to stink, so I decided to give her a bath. "Bonnie, let's go to the bathroom. You need to wash up." I said. "No, it's fine! I don't n-need a bath!" Bonnie exclaimed frantically. "Come on, Bonnie! You reek! You smell absolutely putrid!" I said, exasperated. "Come on, it's really not that-" She sniffed her armpit and retched. "b-bad," She lied, while straining to act natural. I picked her up, and she started sobbing. "No! PUT ME DOWN!" She screamed. "Come on, let's go," I growled. I carried a screaming Bonnie into the bathroom where she jumped to the ground and started having a fit. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME!" She screamed. I ignored her and started running some warm water. Bonnie's screams were just about loud enough to make a guy with decent hearing go completely deaf. After the tub of water was full, I commanded, "Get in the tub!" NO! NEVER!" She screamed angrily. "GET IN THE F*CKING TUB!" I screamed, enraged. "LIKE HELL I WILL!" Bonnie screamed furiously. "Ugh! Well, I guess there's only one way to fix this problem," I said, while thinking. "Let me out?" Bonnie asked me. SHe looked up at me with cute, shiny, innocent eyes, but that wasn't going to do the trick. I never fell for cuteness. I picked up Bonnie and carried her over to the bathtub. "NO! NO! PUT ME DOWN!" She screamed. I ignored her screams and set her in the shallow water.

"NONONONONONO!" Bonnie screamed as she thrashed and flailed violently in my arms. "It's just a BATH! For goodness SAKE!" I shouted, exasperated. "NO! NO! I'M GONNA DROWN! HELP ME!" Bonnie sobbed hysterically. "Dude! You're in 3 inches of water! Woman up!" I exclaimed, irritated by Bonnie's outrageous antics. She started flailing in the water and screamed, "GET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT MY MOMMY!" She screamed, tears pouring out of her eyes. "Bonnie, your mom's not here! She's not going to come!" I yelled angrily. "M-M-MAMA! MAMA!" Bonnie cried out. Suddenly, Chica barged in, took a look at the sobbing rabbit, and told me, "Let me handle this!" She walked over to Bonnie and said, "Ok, honey. Mommy's here. You're gonna be just fine." Chica comforted her. "NO! I WON'T BE FINE!" Bonnie screamed. "Come on, Bonnie! Everyone takes baths!" Chica told Bonnie. "Well, I don't wanna!" Bonnie whined. "Trust me, Bonnie! I won't let you die! I swear!" Chica exclaimed. Bonnie sniffled. "R-really? I-I'm not gonna d-die?" "Goodness, no! Sweetheart, you're not going to die! Now, let's get you cleaned up. "O-ok," Bonnie sniffed. Chica poured a drop of shower gel onto a loofah, and she started gently scrubbing Bonnie.

Soon, the water turned brown from all the weeks of filth. After Bonnie was cleaned, Chica said, "There! Now that wasn't so bad! Right?" She asked Bonnie. "I-I guess not," Bonnie said, tears still in her eyes. "There we go! There's my little girl! Now, if you need anything, Mommy will be right here for you!" She exclaimed happily. "Tsh! Mommy," I scoffed. "Thanks, Mama! I love you!" Bonnie exclaimed. "I love you too!" Chica said happily. "Lesbian!" I exclaimed. "Goldie! That's very rude! Go to your room!" Chica commanded. "Uh! Fine by me!" I scoffed. Chica had gone into full mother mode. I teleported back to my secret room and decided that it was a good time for potion brewing, but there was one more abomination that I was unaware of.

Let's just say that I TRIED to make potions. I did everything correct, but another little abomination screwed them up. The abomination goes by another name- Toy Bonnie. As soon as I got back to my room, Toy Bonnie started causing trouble. I took out all my ingredients and prepared for brewing, but Toy Bonnie snatched my Maximus syrup and guzzled down half the bottle! "Dammit, Toy Bonnie! Look what you just did!" I screamed, enraged, as she started to enlarge. Suddenly, her size tripled, and her head smashed through the low ceiling. "F*ck! Oh my GOD, FREDDY'S GONNA BE SO MAD, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I screamed, irate. Foxy barged in and asked, "Hey! What's all that racket-" He spotted gargantuan Bonnie and stopped. "AAAAAAHHHHHH! BONZILLA ATTACK!" He screamed hysterically and dashed out of the room, panicking. Annoyed, I screamed, "Now, LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE SH-" My reply was cut off by Freddy slamming the door open.

"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE! He hollered irately. Suddenly, a giant hand stretched forward and squeezed the life out of Freddy. His head bulged, and his eyeballs almost popped out of his sockets. "P-PUT M-ME DOWN!" He rasped. Toy Bonnie forcefully squeezed Freddy with her tremendous fist. Freddy squeaked like a dog toy. Just when he was about to die from asphyxiation, Toy Bonnie threw Freddy into the air and punched him hard, sending him crashing into a wall. "GOD DAMN IT!" I shrieked as I snatched my wand off of the shelf and shrunk Bonnie down to normal size. "OH MY GOD! MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE ANY TIME NOW, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" I screamed, fuming. Toy Bonnie gave me a devious smirk and walked away like nothing had happened. I growled. After I calmed down, I started to brew the potion.

I started off by stewing the nightshade until the water turned a deep purple. Then, I added precisely 5 drops of the Maximus sap and stirred. Suddenly, a shadow appeared behind me. It was Toy Bonnie. "WHAT DO YOU F*CKING WANT?" I screeched, indignant. She made an evil face as she picked up a bottle of vodka and dumped it in my potion. "GOD DAMN IT!" I screamed as the potion suddenly turned a vile green. Alcohol + Nightshade + Maximus Sap = spewing cauldron. I had come across that while reading my potions book, and I was glad that I came across it. The potion started frothing, and I backed up, unable to calm myself. The cauldron started violently spewing out its contents, splattering the room with repulsive green sludge. "F*CKING F*CK!" I screamed, ballistic at what that little abomination had done.

"OH MY F*CKING GOD! YOU LITTLE CUNT!" I screamed, fuming. "FREDDY'S GONNA KILL ME, AND IT'S ALL YOUR F*CKING FAULT!" I furiously stomped over to a crate, picked it up, and slammed it over Toy Bonnie's head. I then proceeded to move my equipment over to the crate and sit on the crate so that she wouldn't be able to get out. The crate shook under me, so I put my full body weight on it. After about an hour, I picked up the crate, and there lay Toy Bonnie, passed out from the lack of oxygen. First, I grabbed my wand and used a cleaning sell on the room. Job done. Then, I started to brew the potion. I stewed the nightshade for about half an hour and added 5 drops of tree sap and stirred for another half hour. The result was a fiery magenta liquid with the texture of thinned out slime. I would have to wait until it cooled, then I could add the aconite. Just then, Toy Bonnie began to move. I quickly poured the incomplete potion into an ornate glass bottle, popped a cork into the mouth, stuffed it into a chest and locked it. I then picked up Toy Bonnie and took her into the room, where Bonnie and Chica were playing Chutes and Ladders.

"And then, you move 6 squares left- Oh, you won! Good job!" Chica cooed in a condescending tone. "Hey, what's wrong with them?" Toy Bonnie asked me, still dizzy from passing out. "Well, you've missed out on a LOT, my friend!" I exclaimed. "Oh, by the way, you stay right here! I need to go get something," I commanded. I had just remembered that I needed to catch the culprit who stole my spell book. The only handprints that were supposed to be on there were my handprints and one of Toy Freddy's handprints. I teleported to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of cornstarch, and I teleported back to the room. I evenly spread a thin layer of cornstarch on the front and back covers of the book. I had only looked at it for a few seconds, but I immediately realized who did it.

There were my fine-boned handprints and Toy Freddy's fat, pudgy handprints, but I turned the book over and saw a thin, withered, wrinkly handprint. The handprint of a drug addict. "TOY CHICA!" I screamed, nearly boiling over. I teleported to the bathroom, and sitting in one of the stalls was Toy Chica, smoking and doing meth. "HIC-! W-what -HIC!- d-d-do you w-want?" She said giddily. I said nothing, but I gave her a death glare. A moment later, I came back holding a baseball bat. "No-HIC!- D-d-don't beat me up!" She protested. I ignored her and smashed the bat forcefully into her head, causing her to power down. I teleported to the show stage, and to my surprise, Toy Bonnie was playing with Bonnie and Chica. I sighed in relief, and went back to brewing the potion. I added the aconite, and the potion turned hot pink. The next step was to freeze it for 3 weeks. 3 weeks? "I don't know if I'll be able to survive with two babies anymore!" I thought impatiently to myself.


	9. Goldie's Worst Nightmare

I went outside and mindlessly walked backstage. Immediately, I regretted that decision. Mangle and Foxy were making out once again. I retched, but there was something unusual about it. Nauseous, I took a closer look at them, and I noticed that Foxy had a black velvet box in his hand! F*CKING F*CK! MY worst nightmare had come true. Foxy and Mangle were getting married. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed as I teleported around the pizzeria, clutching my head. My fingers dug into my head, causing me pain and even more terror. Exhausted and paranoid, I leaned against a wall and started hyperventilating. "BONNIE! TOY BONNIE! GET THE F*CK OVER HERE!" I screamed. Moments later, Toy Bonnie came zooming on a motorcycle down the hall as fast as it could go, carrying a screaming Bonnie on her back. I groaned. That was the motorcycle that Mike Schmidt left behind. He had forgotten to take it home, and now, Toy Bonnie was riding on it.

"STOP! YOU'RE MOVING TOO FAST!" Bonnie shrieked while holding on to Toy Bonnie's back. Toy Bonnie! I thought that I told you not to use my motorcycle!" I screamed over the noise of the engine. All of a sudden, Toy Bonnie hit the brakes, and with a huge jolt, Bonnie went flying into a wall. "Again, you should have paid more attention in physics class," I muttered. "WAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Bonnie, her head now sporting a bump, was sobbing her eyes out over by the wall. "UGH!" I groaned. It was back to the old days where Bonnie still couldn't walk or talk. Except Bonnie could walk and talk. "TOY BONNIE! I'LL KILL YOU!" Bonnie screamed through a fit of tears. Toy Bonnie smirked. "That's what you get for hogging all of Goldie's attention," "Well, it's not my fault that you tortured him every day!" Bonnie yelled angrily. "It's not my fault that Golden Freddy's a f*cking asshole!" Toy Bonnie screamed. Bonnie gasped. Ballistic, I screamed, "ENOUGH!"

As soon as the scream left my mouth, the room became so silent that you could hear water drip. Both Bonnie and Toy Bonnie gawked at me, astonished at my anger. I tightened my jaw and clenched my fists. "It's one thing to argue, but it's another thing to insult someone who's put up with a copious amount of your outrageous antics!" I snapped, severely pissed off. "We're sorry, Golden Freddy!" Bonnie apologized. "Dude, it's more of Toy Bonnie's problem, not yours!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "But, still! That's not the reason why I called you here. I called you here because I needed t tell you that FOXY AND MANGLE ARE GETTING MARRIED!" I screamed. "Eww!" Bonnie squealed in disgust. "Ooh! Can we crash the wedding? Can we dump pies on everyone? Please?" Toy Bonnie asked. "Oh! That reminds me! Can I swear into the microphone?" Bonnie asked. "Touché, dudes. Touché," I replied.

January 19, 1988

"Ok, guys!" I exclaimed. I had drawn a diagram of what we were to do to crash the wedding. "First of all, the wedding is the day after tomorrow, which is the 21st. We need to hurry if we want to crash it well," I announced. "Trap #1 is gluing mealworms to the inside of Foxy's suit. Those things can bite, so we better put A LOT!" I declared. "Next, we have to hide pies in the confetti machine. This way, instead of confetti raining down on the guests, it'll be pies! Oh, and to make things worse, the pies won't be normal pies. They'll be Chica's fail pies!" I exclaimed excitedly. Bonnie started cracking up. "What?" I snapped. "I just pic- pictured- OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA!" Bonnie stammered through a full on hysterics session. "Pictured what?" I asked impatiently. "Pictured- M-m-mangle with pie all over her!" Bonnie managed to say before cracking up again. "Also, one of us will sprinkle cayenne pepper all over the bouquets, so that whoever goes to sniff them will get a nasty surprise!"

"The best and most despicable prank is rigging an electric source to the doorknobs! Since metal can conduct electricity, one of us will wrap exposed ends of wires that are connected to a strong electrical source to all the exit doorknobs!" I exclaimed. "Oh my God, you're such a badass!" Toy Bonnie shouted excitedly. "Yep. And that's why I called you guys to help me out ! That way, we can be even MORE badass!" For once, Toy Bonnie and I were on the same page. The rabbits helped me with deciding on more plans, but I decided to come up with a final plan. "The last prank, which is the best, of course, is putting a touch activated bomb in the cake!" Both Bonnies oohed. "This way, when someone cuts the cake, the bomb will activate and blow cake everywhere!" I screamed maniacally. Bonnie's already present smile widened. "Ok, no time to waste! Let's get some bugs!" I exclaimed. "I know where a local pet store is, and they sell mealworms. We'll need to turn ourselves invisible with my spell book and wand. It'll work like this, I'll teleport you guys to the pet store, and we'll each grab a box of mealworms and I'll teleport us back." I explained. "Remember this, invisible people can see other invisible people, so we can still see where each of us are," I told them. "Let's GO!"

I snatched my wand off the shelf and cast an invisibility spell on the three of us. I then linked hands with them and teleported to the pet store. "Ok, guys! We need to act quickly! We can't afford to get caught!" I whispered. Several suspicious dogs turned their heads toward us at the sound of my voice. "Go!" We all sprinted to the live insect section. "This is your chance! Take one, and make it quick!" I hissed. We all grabbed a container full of the revolting insects ad teleported back. I used the countercurse for the invisibility spell, and we were all visible again.

January 20, 1988

I woke up to a horrendous stench drifting throughout the pizzeria. I looked around to find that both Bonnies were gone. I immediately teleported to the kitchen, where Bonnie and Toy Bonnie were making the most revolting pie ever. The filling contained eggs, vinegar, ketchup, mustard, cranberry juice, and many other mismatched ingredients to create a repulsive brown sludge. "Eww, you guys!" By disgusting, I didn't mean THIS disgusting!" I exclaimed. "But it's fun making it!" Bonnie whined. "And we can dump it on the guests!" Toy Bonnie added. "Hmm, good point," I admitted. Together, we could put together the most revolting filling for a pie that ever came into existence. "But, there's one more thing," Bonnie told me. "What?" I snapped. "We need to make it MORE disgusting!" Toy Bonnie screamed maniacally. "Ok, I've got this!" I exclaimed.

I added some cornstarch and some mayonnaise into the mixture. I also added some ground up fish paste and some lard to the mixture. "Perfect!" The Bonnies shrieked in unison. "Eww," I muttered. "Wait!" I exclaimed. "You guys, I have another gross ingredient in mind!" "What is it?" They asked. With a smirk, I pulled out a piece of raw steak dripping with blood. I rushed over to the bowl full of the revolting sludge and squeezed out EVERY SINGLE DROP of blood from the steak. "Oh, yeah!" Toy Bonnie exclaimed. "That ought to teach Foxy and Mangle not to get married," I thought to myself and smiled. We also added some live mealworms into the mix to up the ante. The result was a huge glop of rubbish enough to fill 50 pies. After we dumped the mixture into pie crusts, we stuck them in the oven and waited for 10 minutes.

Those 10 minutes were the longest 10 minutes I had ever lived through. I had to withstand the repulsive stench drifting throughout the kitchen, and I also had to put up with Toy Bonnie constantly bugging me about the time.

"Is it done?"

"No"

"Is it done?"

"No!"

"Is it done yet?"

"Shut the hell up!"

"Is it done yet?"

"OH MY GOD, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP?!"

"Umm, is it done yet?"

"UGGGH!"

I couldn't take it anymore, so I whacked Toy Bonnie hard. Just about then, ten minutes passed. "Is it done?" She asked. "YES!" I snapped impatiently. I took 50 stinking pies out of the oven, and sure enough, they were disgusting as hell. "Ok, you guys. The wedding's tomorrow at noon. We've got all the stuff we need to crash this thing. We need to get to the church at the crack of dawn to make sure everything goes accordingly," I said. "I'll set the alarm for 5:00 AM. For now, just catch some z's,"

I dreamed that I was taking over the world. Everyone was bowing in front of me, and I was sitting in a castle, on the highest chair that I had ever seen. Apparently, Bonnie was one of my minions, because she burst in and said, "Master Golden Freddy, there is still one who refuses to obey your orders!" "WHAT?!" I screamed, infuriated. "Yes, it's a guy named Freddy Fazbear," She told me. Just then, Freddy burst in through the castle gates and screamed, "Golden Freddy! I've had enough of your crap!" Surrender now or DIE!" I looked around, and the only one supporting Freddy was himself. I burst into laughter and scoffed, "You? Just you? You can't take over my mighty empire! Besides, you're the only one in your pathetic little army!" "Well, now you're gonna have it!" Freddy screamed as he charged at me, whipping out a large sword. Disinterested, I pulled out a high-tech laser gun and blew Freddy's head off. "NOW I AM THE RULER OF THIS WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Suddenly, an alarm went off. I snapped awake, interrupted from my dream, took one glance at the clock, and headed to the Bonnies. It was 5:00 AM. Bonnie was already half awake. I grabbed Toy Bonnie, who was still sleeping soundly, and shook her hard. "Wake up, you lazy bitch!" I hissed. "Come on, let's get to the church!" I said, as I dragged the Bonnies outside and strapped them onto Mike's motorcycle. "Let's go!" I shouted as I started up the roaring engine.


	10. The Wedding Crashers

**Ok, sorry guys, but from now on, I will stop censoring swears. I know this story is rated T, but still, uncensored swears seem to flow much better.**

It was a long ride to the church. It all started out as normal motorcycle ride through the suburbs, but once again, Toy Bonnie rankled me with her exasperating antics.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO! You heard me!"

"Are we there yet?"

"Shut up, Toy Bonnie!"

"Are we there yet?"

"HELL NO!"

"Are we there yet?"  
That was the last straw. Furious, I screeched to a stop right in front of a garbage dumpster.

"NO, WE'RE NOT THERE YET! AND IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'LL THROW YOU INTO THAT FUCKING DUMPSTER!" I screamed, enraged. "Ok, ok, geez! Calm down!" Toy Bonnie exclaimed, slightly intimidated. "NO! I will not calm down, and you can FUCK OFF! WE'VE STILL GOT A FUCKING WEDDING TO CRASH, AND IF THINGS GO WRONG BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME, I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOUR ASS!" I screamed. Indignant, I stomped back to the motorcycle and continued in angrily driving to the church.

Surprisingly, we arrived at the church at 6:15, which gave me more than enough time to set things up before the wedding. Everything was already set up, and the cake was in the refrigerator. I led the Bonnies to the back door, where I disabled the alarm and snuck in. "Ok, you guys go to the confetti machines and replace the streamers with the pies. I'll go rig the doorknobs and stuff Foxy's suit with bugs," I commanded. The Bonnies worked together surprisingly well, and soon, the streamer dispensers were filled with rotten pies. For the door, I drilled a tiny hole through the sides of the doors, fed some wires through, and secured the wires at the bottom of the doorknobs so that nobody would see them. I then took the wires and rigged them to a switch, which I then rigged to a car battery. I wouldn't turn on the switch until the ceremony was over when people would be exiting. For a final improvement, I hid cameras everywhere and linked them to a tablet that I stole. Hehe. Now I would be able to see everyone suffering! I went back to the kitchen, and it turns out that the Bonnies were done with their much simpler task before me.

I took out the box of mealworms and some superglue and walked down to the dressing room, where Foxy's suit was hung up. "Payback time!" I thought to myself as I pulled out the insects and started to glue them inside Foxy's suit in places that he wouldn't notice. I got bitten a couple times, but it was worth the pain. I glued copious amounts of mealworms in the armpit area of the suit. Hell, I even glued some in his pants! I snickered as I finished up the task. Foxy and Mangle would be in for a living hell today!

After I finished gluing bugs to Foxy's suit, I quickly cut a few holes in Mangle's dress and went back to the chapel, where I met up with the Bonnies. "Ok, guys. I've decided to put some ipecac in the lemonade. Bring the bomb and remote, the knife and the frosting, and let's go!" I commanded. Once we got to the kitchen, I handed Bonnie the ipecac and Toy Bonnie the lemonade. I opened the fridge, and sure enough, the cake was in there. For the final prank, I cut a slice of cake out, trying to be as neat as possible, set the bomb to 5 seconds, and stuffed it in the cake. I put the slice of cake back, and to hide up any evidence, I used frosting to cover up any marks. "Yeah!" I exclaimed as I reached out for a triple high five. We headed back to the chapel and packed up our supplies, but I had another evil plan. I took some wire cutters and snipped all the strings on the piano. Yep, there was a piano instead of an organ. "Ok, guys. Remember, we're gonna insult everybody in the middle of the ceremony. We're gonna go to the back room and plug in a microphone into the speakers. Got it?" The Bonnies nodded. "Alright! Let's go back to the pizzeria!" I exclaimed. I packed my stuff, got the Bonnies, and hopped on the motorcycle.

Once again, this happened.

"Are we there yet?"

"FUCK!" I screamed as I screeched to a stop and chucked Toy Bonnie into a dumpster. Bonnie snickered as Toy Bonnie screamed in the background, writhing in garbage. "Bitch deserved that," I muttered. "But still, we can pull this off without her," "Are you sure?" Bonnie asked. "Yep. She didn't do much in the original plan anyways,"

It was 8:30 when we got back to the pizzeria. Surprisingly, nobody was up yet. "Hey, Bonnie! You wanna do something funny?" I asked. "Yeah! What is it?" She asked. "So you know air horns, right? Let's blow one in Freddy's ear!" Bonnie snickered. I teleported to the supply closet, grabbed an air horn, and teleported back to Bonnie. She took the air horn, and we snuck to the Show Stage, where Freddy was sleeping. I snickered. Bonnie sneakily walked over to Freddy and gave his ear a full blast of an air horn. "OW, FUCK!" Freddy screamed furiously. "YOU BLOW THAT FUCKING HORN AGAIN, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RAM THAT FUCKING THING UP YOUR GOD DAMN ASS!" I started cracking up, and before Freddy could act, I teleported into my room and laughed until my sides hurt.

Eventually, Bonnie pattered over to the secret room and demanded for a dress. "Hell no," I thought. There were no dresses around Freddy Fazbear's! I dug through my closet, searching for a suitable dress for Bonnie. There were millions of suits, bowties, and hats, but no dresses. I was about to give up when I caught a glimpse of a short black dress that looked like it would fit Bonnie. I picked it up and tossed it out the door, and Bonnie excitedly ran into the bathroom to change. Suddenly, a loud and angry banging sounded. It seemed to be coming from the front door. God damn it! Toy Bonnie was back!

Her makeup was streaked, her face was covered in dirt, and she reeked of garbage. Furious with her spoiled appearance, she stormed into my room and began to scream at me. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" She screamed. I snapped "Because you're a prissy, annoying, bitch! Why else would I do that?" "Fine then! Now, you better clean me up and go find a dress for me!" She snapped. "Oh, I'm sorry, but this isn't Nordstrom! I only found one dress, and I gave it to someone else!" I returned her sass. "WHO?!" The bitch screamed. Right at that moment, Bonnie came walking in, wearing the dress that I found. "HER?!" Toy Bonnie screamed in shock. "It's me who deserves the dress! I'm more than 5 times prettier than her!" "You know, it's probably from all the makeup, so shut up!" Bonnie snapped. I spit on a tissue, wiped it all over Toy Bonnie's face. She squirmed in disgust, but after that, I could definitely see Bonnie's point. "You know, she's right, so just wear this for now." I said, handing Toy Bonnie a trash bag. "

"WHAT?!" Toy Bonnie shrieked in disgust and anger. "YOU EXPECT ME TO WEAR THAT THING TO A WEDDING?!" I began to grow impatient with her. "You wouldn't want to show up wearing just that bowtie, would you?" I snapped. "NO!" She screamed. "THEN WEAR THE GOD DAMN THING!" I screeched angrily, stamping my foot down. "FUCK NO!" Toy Bonnie screamed, irate at the fact that I was ignoring her fashion needs. Fuming, I walked up to Toy Bonnie and stuffed the trash bag over her head. "MMMMMPHHH!" MMPPHH!" Toy Bonnie screamed, but they were muffled by the trash bag. "Since you smell like garbage, you might as well look like garbage," I muttered. "WELL, FUCK YOU!" Toy Bonnie screeched in anger, but I quickly put on a hoodie and dragged her out the door, Bonnie trailing at my heels. On the ride to the church, I didn't have to worry about Toy Bonnie pissing me off anymore. I had tied her hands together and taped her mouth. Angry muffled screams sounded from the back of the motorcycle, but none of those obnoxious "Are we there yets". Pretty soon, we had gotten to the church, where everyone was waiting already. Toy Bonnie stomped into the church, and I shooed both of them into the camera room, where everything was set up.

"Alright, this should be it!" I thought as I switched the cameras to Mangle's dressing room and turned the audio on. A "What the fuck?" sounded. Mangle had put on the dress, only to see that hundreds of holes had been cut into it. Bonnie snickered. "WHAT THE HELL!" Mangle erupted into a fit. "NOTHING'S GONNA BE PERFECT!" She sobbed. "Hehe. Bridezilla," I sneered, and Bonnie pulled at her dress. "Yeah, since we're not gonna be seen, you might as well take it off," I said. "Ooh! Does this mean I get to keep it?" Toy Bonnie asked enthusiastically. "Absolutely not!" I said as I stuffed the dress into my bag of backup tools. "Let's move on to Foxy!" I told them. Foxy was in his dressing room, already decked out in his suit. I flipped the audio on, and Foxy let out a horrid groan and grasped at his crotch. "Ow! What the hell?" He exclaimed angrily. All of a sudden, the mealworms grew even more violent and started gnawing at his underwear. "OW! OH MY GODDDDD! NOT MY THING!" He screamed in pain, dropped down on the floor, and started rolling around. Toy Bonnie and Bonnie simultaneously cracked up, followed by me. "HA! HE FINALLY GOT WHAT HE DESERVED!" Toy Bonnie laughed. Well, at least the bitchiest of bitches cheered up. Huh.

Guffawing, we switched cameras to the chapel and watched as Chica appeared on screen and approached the roses. "OOH! Pretty flowers!" Chica squealed as she went in for a sniff. We stared at the computer in awe and waited for that hilarious moment where Chica would realize that the flowers were filled with capsaicin powder. I held my breath as Chica's beak got closer and closer to the flowers until a piercing scream cut through the air like a knife. "OWWWW! AAAAHHHHH!" Chica screamed in pain as her hands flew to her beak, causing her to stumble backwards, trip over Foxy, who knocked into Freddy, who's head bashed into a wall, creating a gaping hole in it. Instantly, I fell out of my chair and started rolling on the floor, laughing, followed by the Bonnies. Chica sat there holding her beak and trembled like a leaf. "OH MY GOD, CHICA, YOU STUPID BITCH!" Freddy screamed, pieces of plaster and wood sticking out of his hat. "SORRY!" Chica wailed. Seeing Freddy like that only made us laugh harder. "So much for that $150 hat, huh?" Bonnie exclaimed.

After the hilarity of wedding preparations, there was definitely a lot more to come. As the ceremony started, the wedding pianist sat down at the piano and began, but it was most likely not what everyone expected. Instead of the melodious sound of a piano, a dreadful discordant sound rang through the chapel, causing everyone to scream. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?" Toy Freddy exclaimed angrily. Toy Bonnie snickered and zoomed in on Chica, whose eyes were red from capsaicin and who was blowing her nose angrily. "Looks like everyone's having fun," I said sarcastically. Bonnie smirked and zoomed in on Freddy, who was hurling all over the floor before collapsing in it.. "Hehe. Concussions are bitches." I sneered, watching Freddy's pathetic display.

Apparently, it was the last straw for the pianist, who uttered a barrage of horrific obscenities before furiously storming out the door. Everyone gasped. They knew that this wedding was going to be a catastrophe. But just at that moment, Foxy walked in, hands still held over his crotch, followed by Mangle, whose makeup looked like it had been done by a blind guy having a seizure. Toy Bonnie zoomed in on her face and shuddered. "Geez! Even Toy Chica could do better than that!" She complained. Right at that moment, Toy Chica burst into the chapel, swaying, staggering, and holding a 40 ounce bottle of 75% vodka. "Speak of the devil," Bonnie muttered. I turned the audio up. This was about to get good.

"S-sup, bitches! Y'all having fun?" Toy Chica stuttered. Everyone gasped. "Oh, FUCK!" Foxy screamed, not wanting her to be here. "Yeah! Let's party!" WOOOOOO!" She exclaimed drunkenly as she began to throw singles everywhere. "Umm, I'm no genius but I'm pretty sure this isn't a strip club," Toy Freddy started. "HEY! Shut up, motherfucker!" Toy Chica slurred. "Oh, and does this sexy guy need a lap dance?" She exclaimed as she strutted over to Foxy. Mangle stared in horror as Toy Chica started twerking on Foxy. I snickered and zoomed in on Mangle's face. "WOOO! PARTY!" Toy Chica screamed as she climbed up on the American Flag and started using it as a strip pole. "OH. MY. GOD. This just got a million times better!" Bonnie screamed. All of a sudden, Toy Chica ripped off her crop top, revealing her literally size DDD fake titties. Toy Bonnie's jaw dropped, and she started snickering. Foxy's mouth fell open, and I zoomed in on him, only to see the middle of his pants raise up into a LARGE bump. This was already too much for me. I fell off of the chair and rolled on the floor laughing uncontrollably. "OH MY GOD FOXY'S HAVING A HUGE BONER!" Bonnie screamed through the speakers for all to hear. Everyone stared at Foxy' pants and went hysterical, except for Mangle, who walked up to Foxy and kicked him in the balls. MAKE IT RAIN ON ME, BITCHES!" Toy Chica exclaimed as she downed the last of the vodka, fell off the flagpole with a crash, and passed out drunk.

"Yo, you guys, she's wasted!" Toy Freddy exclaimed, pointing at an unconscious Toy Chica. Mangle growled. "Where's the motherfucking preacher? Shouldn't he be in here?" Foxy groaned, holding his crotch. Right on time, a creepy puppet wearing a black and white striped shirt walked in. "We are gathered here to celebrate two lives becoming one today," He started. "Blah, blah, blah, to be pronounced husband and wife, boring stuff, two souls becoming one," He droned on, skipping out on multiple parts of the speech. "Heh. What's wrong with Marri today?" I said. Bonnie shifted in her chair nervously. "Bonnie? What did you do?" I said impatiently. "I- um, kinda..." She stammered. "JUST GET TO THE POINT!" I snapped. "I drugged him." She said. "Hehe. Nice one. "Yada, yada, yada, everlasting love, why am I even a priest?" He mumbled. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I now pronounce you husband and wife, go make out I'm done," He said as he walked out. "Alright you guys, pie time!" I exclaimed as I moved my hand closer and closer to the strings of the confetti machines. I stared at the cameras and as Foxy went in for a full on make out, Bonnie screamed, "PULL IT!" I yanked the ropes, and HARD. I teleported back to the camera and was just in time for the hilarity. All of a sudden, hundreds of rotten pies fell from the ceiling and splattered all over Foxy, Mangle, and the other guests.

"OH MY GOD!" Mangle screamed, almost in tears. "Oh, EW, EWW- IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!" Chica shrieked, scrabbling frantically at her beak. A pie fell down and narrowly missed Toy Freddy, hitting the floor with a sickening squishing. "Ugh! No way I'm eating that!" He exclaimed. "WHAT THE FUCK! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFETTI!" Foxy howled. "What the fuck?" Freddy woke up, delirious. "What the fuck is this motherfuckers? Who the hell are you?" He snapped angrily. "Freddy! You're awake!" Chica squealed, mayo dripping down her face. "Who's Freddy?" He said dizzily. Welp, now Freddy has amnesia. Toy Bonnie giggled. She knew what was to come.

A ghastly silence fell over the entire church. Everyone stood in the chapel, astonished and flummoxed at what had just happened. Pie filling slowly dripped down Mangle's cheek, merging with a stream of tears. "Freddy?" Chica whimpered. "Who the hell is Freddy..." He stammered. "Dude! You're awake!" Foxy exclaimed ecstatically and rushed over to his side. "Do I know you?" Freddy questioned. "Come on! Snap out of it!" Chica begged worriedly. "I don't know any of you, I'm getting out of here," Freddy muttered as he headed towards the door.

Now was my perfect chance to electrocute him. I crept over to the switch, and right as Freddy's hand made contact with the doorknob, I flipped the switch. Electricity ran through the wires and reached the doorknob. Freddy's hand came down on it, causing the knob to spark, electrocuting him. and burning part of the carpet "FREDDY!" Foxy screamed as he ran to him and slapped his hand away from the door. Again, Freddy fell unconscious and collapsed on the floor. Bonnie smirked at Chica's pathetic face and zoomed in on Toy Freddy snuck out the back door of the chapel. "What the hell is he doing?" Toy Bonnie exclaimed. "Whatever, just go with it," I grumbled, searching for the bomb detonator. Just as I suspected, Toy Freddy came back with the cake and the lemonade. Bonnie snickered.

"I GOT THE CAKE!" Toy Freddy shouted. "Well, what are we waiting for?" He asked. Everyone whispered something for a while and gathered around the cake. "Well, I suppose nothing could be worse than those pies," Chica's voice trailed off. Everyone nodded in agreement. "What are we waiting for?" Foxy said, taking a long sip of lemonade. "Alright, LET'S CUT THIS BABY!" Toy Freddy exclaimed excitedly, licking his lips. I smiled gleefully as Toy Freddy's knife got closer, and closer, and closer. With a smirk, I lifted up my finger and pressed down on the button. The C4 exploded with a deafening boom, splattering cake all over everyone. "GAAAAAAHHH! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mangle screamed as she started to walk out. "But sweetie! We were gonna get married!" Foxy whined. "Yeah. And you know what I figured out today? I FUCKING HATE YOU! You were probably the one who screwed everything up! And where's Goldie? I bet you kidnapped him and the babies so that they couldn't come to our wedding!" She shouted furiously. "Well, I bet you were the one who put the C4 in the cake and screwed with my tuxedo!" Foxy blurted out. "But it doesn't matter anymore! We're done!" Mangle choked out and stormed off. A wave of remorse washed over Foxy, who sprinted over to Mangle. "I'm sorry!" He shouted as he ran, but Mangle stuck out her leg, sending Foxy flying into a wall. "Ow," Foxy groaned in pain. He slowly began to stand up, but the ipecac took effect, and he doubled over and hurled up a storm.

"AHAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, BITCH!" "Bonnie shouted over the intercom!" "What the hell is that voice?!" Toy Freddy exclaimed. "I don't even know why you even bother at this point, like you can't even keep a girl for 2 months, Foxy!" Bonnie sneered. "HEY! SHUT THE FUCK U-" Foxy was cut off by the vomit spewing out of his mouth. "I bet you don't even stand a chance with Chica, and she's dumber than a pig!" Bonnie mocked ruthlessly. Chica's eyes welled up, and she ran out of the chapel, crying. 'HEY! YOU FAT BITCH! IF YOU DIDN'T EAT SO MUCH PIZZA THEN YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A SHOT WITH SOMEONE!" Bonnie yelled. "And Freddy! YOU FAT FUCKING FAZBASTARD!" You're the worst of all of them, you can't even bake a proper cake, you idiot!" Bonnie screeched angrily into the microphone. "Ahaha. That guy- he just got ROASTED! You hear me? ROASTED!" Freddy laughed deliriously.

"And Toy Chica- You're a goddamn WHORE WHO DOES NOTHING BUT HAVE SEX AND SMOKE CRACK EVERY DAY!" At that, Toy Chica snapped awake. "Huh? Crack?! Who said that?! WHERE'S THE CRACK?!" Toy Chica screamed as she began to smash things apart, in search of her drugs. "Well, obviously Mangle's not here, but she DEFINITELY needs to get a life like RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" Bonnie exclaimed. "And, uh, Toy Freddy- you're, um, you're just plain fat," Bonnie stammered, Toy Freddy being too nice to actually insult. "Yeah, I get that a lot," Toy Freddy admitted. Right about then, Foxy collapsed on the floor. "Let's get back to the pizzeria," Toy Freddy muttered. I deactivated the shock contraption and everyone walked out of the doors

**Sorry I haven't updated in so damn long, I was SUPER busy for the last, like 100 weeks of life.**


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